still

Got home 'round three Thursday morning but couldn't quite sleep I don't know why. Finally got a few hours of bad sleep in the afternoon but had to go out and do some errands and stuff and then work. Home an hour now thinking about nothing old movie on.

Outside cold darkness another rush hour just starting people waking rubbing their eyes and scratching their privates. Highway will be jammed with broken heroes but it is the moment right before insanity.
That. Perfect. Moment.

I worked, drove for two hours and dispatched for three more. One fare, the dude was leaving from a trivia tournament where he felt like some people were cheating somehow.
I had to ask: Can I try? What was one of the questions?
So he thinks for a minute and he says okay then.............................. in the movie "Office Space" how many minimum 'pieces of flare' was Jennifer Aniston's character required to wear during her shift as a waitress? I said fifteen. I was right.
Then I had a Cotton Ave to the Moose Lodge. DAV to McCusker. Legal Seafood to the QAT.
Dispatched a total of maybe 5 calls. Went outside and had a smoke. Somebody spoke and I went into a dream.

One's real life is often the life that one does not lead

Well anyway, after playing night dispatcher for 2 months its back in the saddle again and not a minute too soon. I don't recall a more selfish and childish group than some of the drivers we have around these days and I wont miss dealing with them. Time and time again they would pack up and go home without even asking, leaving me short to get killed when it got busy later in the night.
I felt just like a substitute teacher but without the power even to send them to the Principal's office. The last bunch were great guys and we had fun and we got the job done. I dunno, maybe its the times we're in. Everyone is on edge.
Tonight there were only a few local unremarkable runs because I'd spent most of the evening at rehearsal for a play that I am involved in. It is only a very small part but it continues to be a wonderful experience.

mai

Do ya ever feel like just a complete idiot? Me neither but last night I really screwed up by dispatching a good call to the wrong driver. The goal is to get an even amount of work for all the drivers. It's the measure of a good dispatcher.
Well, what happened is there was one dude who was whining all night even though I thought he was doing pretty well. Someone told me that he was livid about something I had said or done wrong and that word really got to me. How often does a person become livid? Jesus.
The word, that word bounced around in my brain for a while until, finally, I gave the big job to livid man instead of the driver who really deserved it, needed it to make a decent night.
I apologized and tried to explain myself but man when you're wrong you can't hide. I should be able to make things even over the next few nights.
I feel so damn bad. But the lesson here is, well, never feel bad.

The people protesting health care reform are the same geniuses that doubt evolution. They are sure about their beliefs beyond any doubt and nothing ever needs to be debated. The insurance industry shouldn't be impeded in any way lest we risk (gasp) socialism.
Besides, hospitals can not refuse to treat anyone. And, well gosh darn it we have the greatest health care system in the world.

The next insipid twit that tries to feed me any of this crap is gonna need health care for his face. Leave your address along with any comment so that I can drop by with some flowers.

classified

Yeah, so alright I'm back from whatever planet I was on last night. Planet Self Pity. Tonight started off with a group of three, drove them to the airport through great swaths of traffic. Twemendous twaffic. No AC, hot as hell windows all rolled down. Cab making grinding and clunking noises. Growling and burping.
So where are you folks from?
Minneapolis.
Oh very nice.
Have you been there?
No. Well, the airport I think. Its a nice airport.
Yes yes. (I should have asked them how Mary Tyler Moore is doing)

By the time I got back, Emil had finished his shift with unit 199. I like the one-nine-niner so I switched cabs and pick up four hombres from Honduras going to Gillette Stadium. There is a football (soccer) match Saturday at the stadium and these guys are part of the Honduran sports media. They yammered in Spanglish most the way. The one who spoke the most English, I think he was the leader, asked about getting a ride back later so I explained our strict policy of requiring pre-payment for such a trip and he just said "No."
(we can't afford to be driving 40 miles round trip for nothing when people so often disapear under mysterious circumstances)
So, when they called for a ride back the dispatcher told them "No."
After a few local runs I grabbed a couple slices and a Coke and did local work the rest of the shift.
Starting tomorrow I'll be the night dispatcher for 3 weeks whilst Dave plays army. Looking forward to some guarenteed moneys. Mucho dinero.

prop me up with another pill

Work is as slow as its ever been, there is just nothing out there. I'm making 50% less money than I was twenty years ago - who else do you know that can say that?
And as if to add gasoline to the fire two extra drivers were called in on their off night tonight. I should be upset and I am but only at myself for still being here doing this job. I don't know what else to do. Its been so long I don't know how to do anything else.
There seems such a struggle between rage and hope.
But there is still kindness and karma. Music and beauty and laughter. Maybe love.